no subject
Tue, Oct. 18th, 2005 01:05 am
Also? Something else? STOP TRYING TO BLOODY GUILT TRIP ME.
Seriously. The first month I was able to ignore it, second it was getting on my nerves, third I was almost visibly twitching, now I'm just sick of it.
I worked my arse off to get here. I have been wanting to come here for the better part of three or four years. For the past two-ish I've worked as many hours as I could possibly get, first at Bi-Lo then at the Asian restaurant. I've skimped on as many things as possible (look at my car, people. Colin and I would've bought something sexier by now if I hadn't been saving up for England).
I've been having the time of my life. I've finally been able to meet two of my oldest friends in the flesh, after having known Uko for five years, and Sallie for four. That's the single, solitary reason I'm here. London, Wales, Blackpool, Brighton, Yorkand everything else has been fantastic, of course, but they're not the reason I came here. If they both lived down the street from me (oh, if only~) then nobody would be saying anything. Instead I've had no less than four people guilt tripping me about it at various stages.
Be happy for me, for fuck's sake! This has been the biggest dream of my life thus far. I decided three years ago that I wanted to be here for Sallie's 21st birthday. So instead of just letting said dream sit there and fester for those three years and wish I was here come 22 October 2005, I got off my arse, got a job, and started saving.
I earnt EVERY SINGLE CENT for this trip off my own steam. My family unit has not given me ANYTHING for it except, surprise surprise, love and encouragement. Not once has any of them tried to guilt trip me and say they were lonely and half-dead because I was halfway around the world. I know they miss me, but they're not rubbing it in every time they say anything to me.
Every. Bloody. Week. I get someone saying they wish I'd never left Australia. I know you mean well, but for the love of all things shiny, just please shut it for the next month. A bit of envy and/or loneliness, fair enough, but just flat out bitterness and jealousy is cruel, and that's what I've been getting.
I'm sick of people trying to guilt trip me for this. I have nothing to be guilty for. I'm having fun with my friends, and am not financialy leeching off of anyone to be able to do so.
Four/five years I've been close friends with these two, only now I'm able to properly see them, as you should be able to with close friends. Instead of wallowing in self-pity and being insanely jealous and lonely, why not try being happy for the three of us? It works for me. When Kinky-J was here, I felt nothing but happiness for the both of them, and I still have no idea how jealousy could have come into it. I guess I was hoping too much for it not to have come into it again when I rock up in Pommyland.
Also? Sallie has been improving so freaking much over the year. I've even been able to see improvement just while I've been here. Wishing she could be spending more time on the computer is selfish. God forbid that she should be physically able to leave the house after five years.
Comments disabled because I don't want to talk about it. Just stop doing it and we'll all~ be happy.
PS. Yes, I realise the irony that this whole post is also a guilt trip, shush =P
Seriously. The first month I was able to ignore it, second it was getting on my nerves, third I was almost visibly twitching, now I'm just sick of it.
I worked my arse off to get here. I have been wanting to come here for the better part of three or four years. For the past two-ish I've worked as many hours as I could possibly get, first at Bi-Lo then at the Asian restaurant. I've skimped on as many things as possible (look at my car, people. Colin and I would've bought something sexier by now if I hadn't been saving up for England).
I've been having the time of my life. I've finally been able to meet two of my oldest friends in the flesh, after having known Uko for five years, and Sallie for four. That's the single, solitary reason I'm here. London, Wales, Blackpool, Brighton, Yorkand everything else has been fantastic, of course, but they're not the reason I came here. If they both lived down the street from me (oh, if only~) then nobody would be saying anything. Instead I've had no less than four people guilt tripping me about it at various stages.
Be happy for me, for fuck's sake! This has been the biggest dream of my life thus far. I decided three years ago that I wanted to be here for Sallie's 21st birthday. So instead of just letting said dream sit there and fester for those three years and wish I was here come 22 October 2005, I got off my arse, got a job, and started saving.
I earnt EVERY SINGLE CENT for this trip off my own steam. My family unit has not given me ANYTHING for it except, surprise surprise, love and encouragement. Not once has any of them tried to guilt trip me and say they were lonely and half-dead because I was halfway around the world. I know they miss me, but they're not rubbing it in every time they say anything to me.
Every. Bloody. Week. I get someone saying they wish I'd never left Australia. I know you mean well, but for the love of all things shiny, just please shut it for the next month. A bit of envy and/or loneliness, fair enough, but just flat out bitterness and jealousy is cruel, and that's what I've been getting.
I'm sick of people trying to guilt trip me for this. I have nothing to be guilty for. I'm having fun with my friends, and am not financialy leeching off of anyone to be able to do so.
Four/five years I've been close friends with these two, only now I'm able to properly see them, as you should be able to with close friends. Instead of wallowing in self-pity and being insanely jealous and lonely, why not try being happy for the three of us? It works for me. When Kinky-J was here, I felt nothing but happiness for the both of them, and I still have no idea how jealousy could have come into it. I guess I was hoping too much for it not to have come into it again when I rock up in Pommyland.
Also? Sallie has been improving so freaking much over the year. I've even been able to see improvement just while I've been here. Wishing she could be spending more time on the computer is selfish. God forbid that she should be physically able to leave the house after five years.
Comments disabled because I don't want to talk about it. Just stop doing it and we'll all~ be happy.
PS. Yes, I realise the irony that this whole post is also a guilt trip, shush =P
