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Back from... I almost said Nanna's. Back from Victor, anyway. We went to see my cousins down there, primarily so Mum and Meredith could talk about funeral plans, but I got to talk with the cousins, too. That helped a lot, me and cousins, I think. We talked about all the cute little things about Nanna, like how she called us all 'Lovey' and always knitted the patterned front of a jumper first cos she hated doing the boring bits like the sleeves and back. She always did those bits when she didn't have to think about the pattern, like while watching footy. Mocked her Tank City (she literally has five rain water tanks, and was apparently thinking about another. Dad jokingly asked Meredith if there were any tank orders he might have to cancel, and she had to think seriously about it for a minute before saying no.)

So yes. Looking like the funeral will be on Friday morning. I'm feeling more at peace with everything now, but it's still weird. I have no connections with Victor Harbor anymore. She's always been my favourite grandparent, but realistically she was never going to outlive Gran, the old battleaxe who's 90 going on 65. It's just all weird. Getting better, but yeah. I think I'll be in a daze until Friday.

Thank you all for comments on the last entry <3 It means a lot having all my loves there like that, so thank you all ♥

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My Nanna died last night. Mum just came in to tell me. I keep thinking of all these little things, like how when she was up here two days ago for dinner, between coming home from hospital and going home, Colin didn't get to see her cos he was at soccer training. He just told me he never got to make her his nachos (which we were talking about on Mothers' Day two weeks ago). She'd only just gotten her big shiny new TV and was looking forward to watching the footy on it over winter, or any of the digital-only stations like ABC2.

I am so relieved I took Mothers' Day off work, cos that was the last time I properly saw her. She wasn't here long the other night, but at least I could see her then, too.

...Dad's just come in and said "Pretty sad, isn't it? Well, these things happen. People die." Oh god that is so Dad.

We're going to see my other rellies from that side of the family today. Called work because if I'm left alone for half a minute I'll start crying again.

Love you, Nanna.