no subject
Thu, May. 28th, 2009 10:16 pm
Well, we're down at Victor for the funeral tomorrow. It's actually Dad's birthday today, but we're not celebrating such things until next week, unsurprisingly. (Forgive lack of spaces here, I'm on Mum's EeePC which has a screen res of about 300x200 and akeyboard to match. Also, the spacebar is dodgy.BUT IT HAS iNTERNET.)
I AM feeling better, but... yeah. I've just been wandering around sort of lost this week.Sunday I tried to go to work, but when I cameout to the kitchen and Mum was writing the eulogy I kinda knew it wouldn't work out. Went to work, started on dishes to calm myself down, served people for another hour and was doing okayish, 'cept that it felt like I'd been there for about 5 hours when it was only one. I kept having to take deep breaths and tell myself I could get through it. Then someone came in with a beanie knitted from the same wool as a scarf Nanna knitted me, andI started thinking about how I wouldn't get anymore Nanna scarves, or see her knitting furiously in front of the footy, or being proud over her knitted jumpers for little kiddies that she always loved doing, and I just.... I couldn't. Spent my lunch break crying in the corner and eventually told Jackie I couldn't go on and came home. Too soon. Thought it'd be a distraction, but I think it made it worse.
Mum and Dad have been down here this week chucking out stuff from Nanna's house, like the pillows that are probably older than Mum, ollllllllld magazines that are so old some have ads for cigarettes, stuff like that.
Soooo yeah. Been dreading tomorrow all week. This will be hard.
I AM feeling better, but... yeah. I've just been wandering around sort of lost this week.Sunday I tried to go to work, but when I cameout to the kitchen and Mum was writing the eulogy I kinda knew it wouldn't work out. Went to work, started on dishes to calm myself down, served people for another hour and was doing okayish, 'cept that it felt like I'd been there for about 5 hours when it was only one. I kept having to take deep breaths and tell myself I could get through it. Then someone came in with a beanie knitted from the same wool as a scarf Nanna knitted me, andI started thinking about how I wouldn't get anymore Nanna scarves, or see her knitting furiously in front of the footy, or being proud over her knitted jumpers for little kiddies that she always loved doing, and I just.... I couldn't. Spent my lunch break crying in the corner and eventually told Jackie I couldn't go on and came home. Too soon. Thought it'd be a distraction, but I think it made it worse.
Mum and Dad have been down here this week chucking out stuff from Nanna's house, like the pillows that are probably older than Mum, ollllllllld magazines that are so old some have ads for cigarettes, stuff like that.
Soooo yeah. Been dreading tomorrow all week. This will be hard.