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Fri, Sep. 12th, 2003 11:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I keep forgetting to post this, but I've remembered now, so voila =D Email back from Ruth Starke *^^*
I've had time for a quick read of your ms and wow, am I impressed. It has
the beginnings of a great story: I love the ingredients of stolen twins,
magical abductor, female warrior-secret assassin (shades of Crouching
Tiger!) - for all these reasons, it would do well in the YA fantasy market.
I'm assuming you intend it to be a novel? You don't say, and that would
influence my critique. I'll assume that you see the end result as a novel of
some 50,000 words.
Speaking as a tertiary lecturer, I'd give these pages a B+ if it was handed
in as a student assignment, and tell you it needs proof-reading (there are
some careless errors) and a close edit for increased clarity, to remove
repetition, and to tighten the prose and increase tension.
[insert stuff here that contains much spoilers and stuff]
But this is impressive work for an 18-year-old. Well done!
cheers, Ruth
That is so~ damn good. I got it on Wednesday afternoon, and it seriously helped brighten my mood. Can definitely see all the errors in it now. Structural stuff, lotta questions she asked that should be answered now rather than later as planned etc etc. Uber!helpful *^^*
And she called Yan 'batman' XDDDDDD *so~~ endlessly amused by this* That is just classic XDDDDDD
In other news, I think I may go to bed, cos Gawd knows I need it. I get to sleep in tomorrow! Bliss~! So yeah, solly, no Musical Microscope tomorrow morning, cos I don't plan on seeing the light of day until one at the very earliest.
Going to see Pirates of the Carribean tomorrow evening with Kate as a (very) belated birthday party - Nicola and Em aren't free, so it's just the two of us. Doesn't bother me ^^ So yus, movie~ =D Still peeved that we get stuff so damn late. I mean, when did this come out in Pommyland? July or something? And we don't get RotK until Boxing Day when the rest of the world has it prolly by November XP~
One more thing? We talk not about the footy. We lost. Anyhoo, long as Collingwood doesn't win, I'm happy. Not as happy as I would be if the Crows could've won, but still. So glad it can't be Power vs Collingwood in the Grand Final, wouldn't know who to barrack (sp?) for then. Am heavily against them both. Please~ Gawd~ someone knock off Collingwood Xx
Ok, I'll stop complaining now XD; Bed time *nods and buggers off*
edit = tpyo's on 6060 hits. I missed 6000. Bugga ^^;
I've had time for a quick read of your ms and wow, am I impressed. It has
the beginnings of a great story: I love the ingredients of stolen twins,
magical abductor, female warrior-secret assassin (shades of Crouching
Tiger!) - for all these reasons, it would do well in the YA fantasy market.
I'm assuming you intend it to be a novel? You don't say, and that would
influence my critique. I'll assume that you see the end result as a novel of
some 50,000 words.
Speaking as a tertiary lecturer, I'd give these pages a B+ if it was handed
in as a student assignment, and tell you it needs proof-reading (there are
some careless errors) and a close edit for increased clarity, to remove
repetition, and to tighten the prose and increase tension.
[insert stuff here that contains much spoilers and stuff]
But this is impressive work for an 18-year-old. Well done!
cheers, Ruth
That is so~ damn good. I got it on Wednesday afternoon, and it seriously helped brighten my mood. Can definitely see all the errors in it now. Structural stuff, lotta questions she asked that should be answered now rather than later as planned etc etc. Uber!helpful *^^*
And she called Yan 'batman' XDDDDDD *so~~ endlessly amused by this* That is just classic XDDDDDD
In other news, I think I may go to bed, cos Gawd knows I need it. I get to sleep in tomorrow! Bliss~! So yeah, solly, no Musical Microscope tomorrow morning, cos I don't plan on seeing the light of day until one at the very earliest.
Going to see Pirates of the Carribean tomorrow evening with Kate as a (very) belated birthday party - Nicola and Em aren't free, so it's just the two of us. Doesn't bother me ^^ So yus, movie~ =D Still peeved that we get stuff so damn late. I mean, when did this come out in Pommyland? July or something? And we don't get RotK until Boxing Day when the rest of the world has it prolly by November XP~
One more thing? We talk not about the footy. We lost. Anyhoo, long as Collingwood doesn't win, I'm happy. Not as happy as I would be if the Crows could've won, but still. So glad it can't be Power vs Collingwood in the Grand Final, wouldn't know who to barrack (sp?) for then. Am heavily against them both. Please~ Gawd~ someone knock off Collingwood Xx
Ok, I'll stop complaining now XD; Bed time *nods and buggers off*
edit = tpyo's on 6060 hits. I missed 6000. Bugga ^^;
no subject
Date: Fri, Sep. 12th, 2003 07:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: Sat, Sep. 13th, 2003 07:49 am (UTC)And~ you'll even get a personally autographed copy X3
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Date: Fri, Sep. 12th, 2003 07:30 am (UTC)Heh, I don't think you'd get along well with my friend Cass-in-Melbourne- she's a HUGE Collingwood fan XDD;;. Me? I don't even know the sport XD, so I'll just sit here and pretend like I know what you're on about X).
no subject
Date: Sat, Sep. 13th, 2003 07:49 am (UTC)Eww~~~ Collingwood XP~~~