Am I missing something? I coulda sworn you could pin entries in DW. Can't for the life of me find where to do that anymore.
Soooooo writing. Where we at with that right now? Y'know what? Good. Writing is good. After picking it back up again last year, at an oh-so-fragile time, I finally finished writing and the bulk of editing Ch21 about two months ago. Per my normal routine, I then wrote Ch20 during Novuly (more on that later) and came back to give Ch21 the final pass and add all the info from it to the Big Book of Stuff last week.
Not only was I going through A Time while writing Ch21, but the themes of the chapter were almost exactly the same, which made it extremely difficult to write, and then hard to distance myself from when editing. Does it land how I intend it to, or does it just feel emotional to me because of what I've been going through? I don't suppose I'll ever know, but if some of that real emotion is visible in the words, then I've done my job.
Now, Novuly. Back in ye olde days of NaNoWriMo, we had an Adelaide NaNo server on Discord. When NaNo ceased to be, we kept our server going, called it the Adelaide Writer's Club (I think? I can't remember now) and rebranded NaNo to Novelember. Same idea, but fewer rules--target whatever you want, and you can use and existing project for the challenge. Earlier this year, some weird drama happened that saw our prickly mod, who was stickling a little too much to the rules, leaving a passive-aggressive message and just deleting the server. It was all very odd and petty.
Anyway. One of our enterprising members contacted as many of us as usernames she had, and created a new server called TAWC (Talk About Write Club). Most of the same people, minus the prickly mod, and now far more active outside of November. To the point where we started a new challenge in July, much the same again but with an added option for a time target, so editing, researching and planning can all be counted. I still went for words, but 31k (1k a day for a 31-day month) because I wanted to use SH as my project and get some serious words into it. It'd taken a year to write that one chapter.
Still only managed one chapter, which I put down to this being an existing project. For all the NaNos in the past, I've deliberately made the plot something that'll be easy to just keep going, never need to refer back or stop and work things out, just go. SH is not planned that way.
16 months ago, I'd burried this story. I was at such rock bottom I can't reliably articulate it--and then I got punched down even further. I truly cannot overstate how shit I was feeling about the whole situation. To have now been able to pick it back up again and be happy about what I'm writing, I'm filled with delight and excitement again. It's been a hard lesson, learning how to really, properly write for myself.
I've always written for others; I've always written for Sallie. To be so soundly shot down by my formerly biggest supporter will never stop hurting. I made Kurae more of a dominant voice in the Own for her. I made up a seahorse steed in Tsayth for her. I wrote her characters into the story, partnered them with mine; they were canon. And the story has been better ad stronger for it. I've loved that input. I don't know how asking once too many times to read this thing that once brought so much joy and imagination has resulted in the end of our friendship, but here we are.
Now I have to write all those characters out. I've already created--and introduced!--a new future-boyfriend for Kurae. Prince Kanera was mine to start with, anyway, so I'll just reclaim him. Zakaariss is going to be the trickiest one, he's really been part of the plot, but that just means I need to fill his vacancy with more thought. There's more than one way to be a dick in the Assiraz army. Maybe his replacement doesn't even need to be a dick, wouldn't that be refreshing? He could be the very epitome of a respectful Kazinian gentleman.
There'll always be sadness in the absence. It'd be impossible for there not to be, for someone who's been so intrinsic in a story--in a whole hobby--since day one. But I think, now, there's more joy and excitement in writing now than sadness. I'm definitely excited to get started on the next chapter now, excited to get to the end of Rust.
So that's where writing is right now. Sad, but ready to put that sadness away. Writing is good. I can write with joy again. For the first time, I can write for me.
Soooooo writing. Where we at with that right now? Y'know what? Good. Writing is good. After picking it back up again last year, at an oh-so-fragile time, I finally finished writing and the bulk of editing Ch21 about two months ago. Per my normal routine, I then wrote Ch20 during Novuly (more on that later) and came back to give Ch21 the final pass and add all the info from it to the Big Book of Stuff last week.
Not only was I going through A Time while writing Ch21, but the themes of the chapter were almost exactly the same, which made it extremely difficult to write, and then hard to distance myself from when editing. Does it land how I intend it to, or does it just feel emotional to me because of what I've been going through? I don't suppose I'll ever know, but if some of that real emotion is visible in the words, then I've done my job.
Now, Novuly. Back in ye olde days of NaNoWriMo, we had an Adelaide NaNo server on Discord. When NaNo ceased to be, we kept our server going, called it the Adelaide Writer's Club (I think? I can't remember now) and rebranded NaNo to Novelember. Same idea, but fewer rules--target whatever you want, and you can use and existing project for the challenge. Earlier this year, some weird drama happened that saw our prickly mod, who was stickling a little too much to the rules, leaving a passive-aggressive message and just deleting the server. It was all very odd and petty.
Anyway. One of our enterprising members contacted as many of us as usernames she had, and created a new server called TAWC (Talk About Write Club). Most of the same people, minus the prickly mod, and now far more active outside of November. To the point where we started a new challenge in July, much the same again but with an added option for a time target, so editing, researching and planning can all be counted. I still went for words, but 31k (1k a day for a 31-day month) because I wanted to use SH as my project and get some serious words into it. It'd taken a year to write that one chapter.
Still only managed one chapter, which I put down to this being an existing project. For all the NaNos in the past, I've deliberately made the plot something that'll be easy to just keep going, never need to refer back or stop and work things out, just go. SH is not planned that way.
16 months ago, I'd burried this story. I was at such rock bottom I can't reliably articulate it--and then I got punched down even further. I truly cannot overstate how shit I was feeling about the whole situation. To have now been able to pick it back up again and be happy about what I'm writing, I'm filled with delight and excitement again. It's been a hard lesson, learning how to really, properly write for myself.
I've always written for others; I've always written for Sallie. To be so soundly shot down by my formerly biggest supporter will never stop hurting. I made Kurae more of a dominant voice in the Own for her. I made up a seahorse steed in Tsayth for her. I wrote her characters into the story, partnered them with mine; they were canon. And the story has been better ad stronger for it. I've loved that input. I don't know how asking once too many times to read this thing that once brought so much joy and imagination has resulted in the end of our friendship, but here we are.
Now I have to write all those characters out. I've already created--and introduced!--a new future-boyfriend for Kurae. Prince Kanera was mine to start with, anyway, so I'll just reclaim him. Zakaariss is going to be the trickiest one, he's really been part of the plot, but that just means I need to fill his vacancy with more thought. There's more than one way to be a dick in the Assiraz army. Maybe his replacement doesn't even need to be a dick, wouldn't that be refreshing? He could be the very epitome of a respectful Kazinian gentleman.
There'll always be sadness in the absence. It'd be impossible for there not to be, for someone who's been so intrinsic in a story--in a whole hobby--since day one. But I think, now, there's more joy and excitement in writing now than sadness. I'm definitely excited to get started on the next chapter now, excited to get to the end of Rust.
So that's where writing is right now. Sad, but ready to put that sadness away. Writing is good. I can write with joy again. For the first time, I can write for me.